D R Deo 1925-2013

We called him Tata and others in the Deo clan called him Bhaukaka.  I knew him as my father-in-law for the last 36 years.  He didn't come for the introductory meeting between me and Madhuri.  It was his brother Dr VR Deo who hosted it for us - my father, aunt, brother-in-law and me.  After things had progressed to the next stage, he turned up at Mumbai and then the match was sealed.  He was a Manager in Mysore Kirloskar Ltd, Harihar at that time.

I got to visit Harihar for the wedding reception held there in Dec 1976.  I liked the thickly shaded colony and the bungalows that made it up.  The small town had a family touch to it and the Harihar temple made it dainty with its marvelous architecture.  After he retired in 1983, nearly two decades passed before I could revisit Harihar, in the role of visiting faculty.  Since 2010, I have visited KIAMS at least twice a year.

The place has a history, that was shared with me by Tata through several anecdotes.  The unsung hero of his tales was Rajaram bapu Kirloskar.  RLK's vision and dedication rubbed off on the entire generation of managers in the inception time.  They worked with their hands to build the club and its facilities including the Swimming Pool.  The club was aptly called My Club and became the nursery for many a budding sportsperson.  Tata's enthusiasm for sports in both versions - indoor and outdoor - had early beginnings in a childhood spent in the princely state of Indore.  His love for sports continued till the very end when he used to play carrom with Aai and Mr and Mrs Anikhindi.

Sports in its non-competitive format has a way of levelling differences of age and gender and also flattening egos.  It teaches the most important lesson in life: how to take defeat and move on.  Relatives, friends, acquaintances and neighbours have commented on Tata's boundless optimism and ability to connect with all kinds of people.  I think these qualities had an organic relationship with his love for sports.

The other outstanding quality of Tata was his unshakable faith in the Supreme power.  Many health issues and resultant handicaps did not dim his faith in God.  He belonged to the Gurudev Ranade sampraday of south Maharashtra.  Everything touched and made sacred by Gurudev was revered by Tata.  I remember he visited the bungalow on Fergusson Campus in which Gurudev was reported to have stayed briefly when he served the Deccan Education Society.  He was a regular and devoted Sadhak making several trips at appointed times to Nimbal ashram of Gurudev.  He often used to say, God is Great, in everyday conversation.  Nobody who came in contact with him could miss these magical words uttered by Tata.

He could recount tales from his own experience as well as those of others, in which utter devotion fetched unbelievable outcomes.  I had heard these tales over and over again.  Yet I would urge him to retell the same again, as hearing them never failed to stir the innermost recesses of mind.  I never bothered to examine whether the tales could stand the test of reason.  And there was a reason to it.

I had seen Tata live by that faith, especially after he crossed the age of 80.  He led a life of discipline and had no health issues until then.  Then age caught up and one thing led to another.  When he showed signs of recovery, we invited him and Aai to Gurgaon where we had shifted for an assignment I had taken up.  He brought about many changes in our daily living.

He was an avid morning walker.  The extreme cold of the North did not deter him from going for morning walks with me.  I had to get up early and get ready in time so as to not keep him waiting.  Gradually I started enjoying the exhilarating morning air and the moderate exercise that the walk seemed to provide.  But that wasn't all.  As is well-known to his circle of family and friends, he had the habit of wishing everyone who crossed his path.  I was a little apprehensive about the practice of this habit in Gurgaon.  But he continued and what charmed me was that he greeted the watchmen posted at gates of mansion with the same enthusiasm that he showed for the owners of the mansion.

I remember an occasion when an elderly lady stopped us in the middle of the road and invited us to her place for a cup of tea.  When we thanked her and politely excused ourselves, she explained that seeing Tata every day going for a morning walk in the biting Winter chill provided her with courage to face her own decrepit health and move on.  A number of regular walkers started recognising Tata and in no time, he became a known figure, while I continued to remain faceless.  It was simply his presence that spoke of his faith.  He needed neither lectures nor sermons.  I find it difficult now to believe that we made trips with Tata to Nainital, Amritsar, Kanpur and last but not the least to Jaisalmer.

It was the same with his weekly visits to Sai-Ka-Angan in Sushant Lok, Gurgaon.  He could walk with great difficulty and in later years had to be helped.  Yet he would complete the rounds regardless of weather or weariness.  On one of the visits to Shri Sai, a devotee was moved and felt charged to gift him with a bracelet and a book.  Tata was taken aback and asked the young man why he was doing it.  Pat came the man's reply, "Shri Sai Baba has directed me to give this to you."  Tata's joy knew no bounds when he heard these words.

He moved to the last lap of his journey with great calm and fortitude.  He was to be taken for an X ray of his swollen knee in a couple of days time.  He asked us to admit him in a hospital so that Aai's troubles would cease.  He reminded us of the Insurance policy that would need to be discharged in favour of Aai and we would need the Death Certificate for it.  He knew the end was near and respected Death as a natural progression.  In a way he prepared us mentally for the inevitable.  His son rushed from abroad in time to be with him.  The end came peacefully on 7 Feb 2013 with all his family around him.

The thought that his benign presence will no more be there in flesh and blood is difficult to accept.  Tata, wherever you are, continue to give us the power to smile in the same way that you did and to live through life with faith, conviction and optimism.  We miss you!  Rest in peace!!

Republic Day 2013

Speech delivered at Gurukul for staff and students, 26 Jan 2013

Namaste!  Greetings of the Republic Day!

I am going to share some thoughts with you on how I see the Republic Day.  When I was your age, I used to play a lot with my brothers and boys in the neighbourhood.  I learnt two important things on the playground.  The first was to stomach defeat.  You lose, you feel bad about it, but you are going to play again.  You aren’t going to give up, because you lost once.  You try harder the next time.  I didn’t find anything better than the playground which taught me how to take defeat.  The second thing I learnt on the playground was to fight and to fight according to rules.  There were always disputes about LBW and run out.  The game has to go on and disputes have to be ended.  If you come to blows then not only the dispute but the game would also end.  So we tried to understand the rules and fight on that basis.  We didn’t have any umpires then.  So we learnt to apply the rules.

When I grew up, I realized that there are always differences of opinion within the family, with friends and with people with whom you work.  Earlier I did not like it when opinions of members differed.  Sometimes I used to stop talking with people who did not agree with me.  At other times I used to verbally attack the other person.  Then it would be endless quarrels.  The worst part was that work would be at a standstill, while we were fighting.  Then I learnt that one can debate without having ugly fights.  So now I welcome such differences of opinion.  That is the great thing about democracy.  With different opinions, there are different ideas and there is a good chance that better ideas would come up through discussion and debate and help all of us to improve things.

This idea that democracy can improve things for all of us rests on the pivot of discussion and debate.  Among countries that became independent at the same time that we did, India stands out for its unshakable commitment to Democracy.  In 1947 we became independent and on 26 Jan 1950 we became Republic of India by adopting the Constitution of India.  Our Constitution lays down rules of the game: how to function and how to make use of differences of thought and action by treating diversity as the wealth of the nation.  So our Constitution talks of Directive Principles and Fundamental Rights and other provisions regarding how to achieve progress based on principles and rights.  Whenever differences arise, these are to be dealt with in accordance with the principles and the rights by different bodies.

So the message of the Republic Day is to respect each other, respect differences and diversity and try to resolve them in a democratic spirit.  When you fight do not forget to respect each other and respect the Constitution.

Long live the republic of India! Jai Hind!