Wrong is not right

This morning I received a call from a stranger, who had wanted to call someone else.  The usual reply is "wrong number".  I have for many years now avoided saying it.  I'd rather say, it's not the number that you dialled, or, this is a different number, and some such response, but I carefully avoid the term 'wrong number.'  One or more of the several things may have happened.  The dialer made a mistake, the connection snapped or the exchange had some issue.  What happened as a result was a natural consequence of the action.  And it is no big deal.  But to call it 'wrong', induces a feeling of guilt in the mind of the dialer, which to me is uncalled for.  So I feel at ease when I calmly say, it's a different number and not the one you wanted.

Only yesterday I met a senior manager, who told me during a coaching conversation that he and his colleague had started meeting every morning to see what quality issues had come up previous day.  He said that when he approached his boss and told him about this way of collaborating to deal with quality issues, the boss said that this solution was 'wrong'.  What they should do instead is to convene a meeting to list anticipated quality issues during the week and take preventive action on those.  They should wake up before quality turned into a problem and do something about it, rather than deal with quality issues after those had arisen.  Sounds rational, isn't it?  Yes; but the managers' solution wasn't wrong; it was different and sought cure, while the boss wanted prevention.  That's fine, but every time your team comes up with a proposal and you as the boss keep saying,'this is where you are going wrong,' 'you made a mistake there' and such other critical remarks, just imagine the effect it will have on the team.  "No matter what we do, suggest or propose, the boss will always find something wrong in it."

Look at it this way.  The managers have their own understanding of the situation and judgment of what may work.  They have thought of one option.  You, the boss, based on your experience and judgment have come up with your solution.  Both are different.  Does it make others' thinking wrong?  No, it is simply different from yours.  By labeling it as 'wrong', you are passing a judgment and sending out a message inadvertently.  That is, 'you don't know what is right and I know it.  I am right'.  if this happens frequently then they'd say, there is no point telling the boss any of our ideas.  He will always prevail with his ideas.

So watch out when you call something 'wrong'.  Simply check if 'different' will do.  That may make you more accommodative, inclusive and democratic.  And less judgmental too.